The "Cool" Parent

Creating a welcoming space for your children and their friends is one of the most ingenious things you can do.  As a mom of a 16 year old, I would much rather have my son and his friends at my house so I can see and hear what is going on in their lives. This way your child gets to socialize and you learn a lot about your child by who they hang out with.   I have a hard time dropping him off at some ones house and not truly knowing what is going on behind closed doors.  High school is very different from the elementary school phase.

Is being a "cool" parent really "cool"? What has society taught us about being cool?  Do we need to spoil our children and buy them everything they want?  Do they need to be involved in every activity?  Children need to understand what the word "no" means.   I have heard many stories.  The "cool" parent serving alcohol to teenagers. This blows my mind.  One parents excuse was "they are going to do it anyway so why not do it under my roof."  It might be true, but does it make it right?  What kind of message is this sending to our children?  

 You are a parent and other parents trust that their children are safe.  We need to balance our roles as a parent.  We need to keep them safe.  Remain a figure of authority, but give your child opportunitis to earn your trust and grow their own relationships.  I teach my son to try to make "smart" choices.  I know we all make mistakes and learn from them but it is our jobs as parents to be there and listen to our children.  The most important role is to keep them safe.

I want my son to be able to pick up the phone and call me if he's in an uncomfortable situation without the fear of getting in trouble.  If they can't trust us, who will they be able to trust?